Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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