It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I need moral support for this bender
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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