Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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