I wanna bring you to show and tell
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
