last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
