Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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