Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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