Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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