I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
