Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The air taste purple.
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