Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
