You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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