My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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