Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
wow bdsm is so cute
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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