Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
