Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
