return my video game
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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