put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
