this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
