I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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