you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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