I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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