Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize