I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
