pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
