That's intense
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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