So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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