what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
