i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
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I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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