Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
barbara walters just said penis...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
