I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
