i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i came on her dog
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
