I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
