Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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