How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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