Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
