You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
