; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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