pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize