just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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