Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
