I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
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I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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