were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
