The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize