his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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