I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
