Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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