Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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