Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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