some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
