I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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