the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
