your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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