I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
