If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
