Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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