These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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